How our lives have changed

Written Tuesday, March 13th:

I thought I would write a little bit about how our lives have changed, besides the obvious cancer diagnosis.

We almost never leave the house. Josh goes to work and comes home. And we stay. JP asked to go for a car ride yesterday. That's how we get out of the house. We don't go anywhere, but we get in the car and drive somewhere just to drive back home.

Josh and I can't go anywhere together. If Josh is gone, I am at home with the kids. If I need to hit up the grocery store, I do it alone or with Elsie. Josh and I did get to go take the sacrament together on Sunday because his mom was in town, but I honestly don't know when we'll go to church together again.

Nobody gets a full night of sleep. Last night's schedule? JP went to bed around 9:00. Josh went to bed around 11:00. Elsie and I were up until about 12:00. JP woke me up at 3:00 for 2 rolls and a cup of juice. We were back in bed around 3:30. JP woke me up again at 5:00 for mac & cheese. As I was waiting for the mac & cheese to cook, I laid back in bed, which woke Josh up. I complained about how JP was being a "brat" and he reminded me it's the medication. I know that, I'm just tired. The mac & cheese was done so I took it into JP. He finished around 5:30. Josh got out of bed at 5:45. Elsie woke up hungry at 6:00 and JP was up for the day at 7:00.

Here we are this morning at 5:00. Someday I will think it's funny (ok so I already think it's funny, just not in the moment of serious sleep deprivation) so I asked Josh to take a picture! Isn't he the cutest kid? He's gaining a ton of weight and rounding out which just makes him even more adorable!

Our hands are always dry and cracking because we are constantly washing and sanitizing. If we are going to do anything with JP - hand him something, get him dressed, change a diaper, hold him, make some food he's going to eat, etc. - we have to wash and sanitize our hands first. I haven't counted how many times a day I'm washing and/or sanitizing, but I wouldn't be surprised if it had 3 digits.

Every surface in the house is sprayed with Lysol Disinfecting Spray at least once a day. Countertops, cupboards, handles, play bins. We are very serious about killing any germs!

We can't just wash our dishes. We have to wash the dishes with a washcloth - not a brush of any kind - and then let the dishes sit in hot water with bleach for at least 2 minutes before moving them to a drying rack where they must air dry, they can not be dried with a towel because of the small possibility some germ or bacteria could be on the towel. This should be remedied soon with the installation of a dishwasher. I can not wait!

We have to remember to give JP his medications twice a day. He has six different kinds, three of which he takes daily, one he takes as needed for pain and the other two are twice a day two days a week. I have to follow a calendar to remember I'm doing it all right. Speaking of medications, I'm so grateful for Josh's job and the insurance. The prescriptions for our first 30 days cost almost $1,100 but we only paid $30 in co-pays. Seriously, what a huge blessing!

For 48 hours after JP's chemo treatments, we have to wear gloves when we change a diaper. This is because the chemotherapy comes out of his body in the form of radiation through his bodily fluids. If he sweats, vomits or pees on anything we have to wash it alone on the hottest setting twice before putting it in the dryer.

To be fair, we weren't "dirty" people before, but we were slightly cluttered and a lot less paranoid. This keeping-things-really-clean-all-of-the-time thing is nice. I have to stop and think a lot more than I used to have to and I am pretty sure in 3 years when this is all over we will still sanitize everything because it will have become such a huge part of our lives.